Hey babes!

Want your partner to wear some sexy lingerie for your next romp, but not sure how to ask? Or maybe you have asked and you’ve been shot down. Sois there a secret sweet spot that will guarantee your partner wears lingerie for your next sexcapade?

Let Midnightdivas give you insight into the female mind with great advice on how to bring lingerie into your bedroom. Scroll down to see what she said!

For today’s question, I thought it might be best to get a woman’s perspective. When is the best time to wear lingerie?
Are we talking time of day or time of relationship?

It sounds like the asker is in a situation where they’ve asked their partner to put on lingerie and they’ve been shut down. This sounds like a question a woman should answer.

However, you want to read into it!
Well, I prefer my lingerie to be worn at night. 😛 But let’s break this down. If this is an online hookup, and you’re both sexting and ramping up for the hookup moment, then hell yes wear some lingerie. Wear some of the good stuff. Garters always. Strappy stuff. Maybe cupless, I don’t know how crazy you get. If it’s a one-time thing or even an ongoing hookup session, go all out. If it’s a friends with benefits session, Yes definitely!!

What about a relationship?
I always liked including lingerie as a sexy surprise for my guy. Say you’ve been dating for a few months, the sex is still new and exciting, but you wanna amp it up. You gave me a tip once that I’m going to use, don’t go out the gate with the cupless and crotchless stuff. Start easy with like a babydoll or chemise. Something simple to get it going. And then you can slowly move into a bra set with garters and finally the crazy, strappy stuff.

But how do you feel when a guy asks you to put on lingerie? Does it bother you?
No, it’s never bothered me because I’m usually the one asking first. I’m the one asking if they like lingerie and gauging it from there.

Have you ever been asked? I have and I find it annoying.
I actually haven’t because it’s usually me asking. But because of my personality, if someone asked me, I’d be excited.

Ahh, ok. But for the person asking this question, I think we need to dive into the female mind. There are definitely instances when you should not ask.
This could be asking for a lot, but the guy needs to read the room. If you know your partner just had a really sh!tty day and they’re not in the mood, asking them to do something for you is probably not going to go well. If you want to try and initiate some sexy time, build up to it. Help her relax, get her some wine, a back or foot massage, anything for her. Lingerie probably won’t end up being in the cards that night. But if she’s having a great day, like she got a promotion or had a great day, that’s when you can be like “Hey, you want to try on this piece that I know we’ve been saving for a special day?”

So you almost have to be in the midst of foreplay or a makeout session before even asking.
Right, it’s not really dinner conversation. It’s not sitting on the couch at the end of the day watching a movie in your pajamas. It’s not we’re getting ready to go to bed in a 20 minute conversation.

That’s a good point. It’s difficult to ask somebody to put something sexy on if they’ve already changed into comfy clothes for the evening.

It’s like asking a friend to go out in the evening and she’s already taken off her bra and put on sweats. She’s in for the night.
And that’s what I do the second I walk into my house. Don’t ask me to do anything! You have to ask me at lunch.

It’s one of those things women probably need to think about in advance.
It is. I don’t know how a lot of other women are, but for example, it’s Friday night. I have no plans. That means the second I walk through my door I’m putting on pajamas, sitting my @ss in front of the TV and having dinner. I have that mental plan so I’m already there.

So if you had a boyfriend you’d say no.
Exactly. But if he’s thinking about lingerie, he should say something. I love that idea of my guy sending me a text saying “I’ve been thinking about that red lace piece you have. You should put that on when I come home.” That would be an awesome idea! And then you can build from there. That’s a great way to get your girl to wear lingerie

Even if she’s having a bad day, that could plant the seed in her mind. She may do it.
And that’s what makes women feel AMAZING. When they know their guy is thinking about them! It’s even hotter when a guy picks out a specific piece.

But still, read the room! If she’s been working her @ss off or even taking care of the kids, and you see she’s exhausted, that’s where the pampering your lady comes in handy.

Use common sense! Sometimes by the end of the day, I just want to be alone.
Exactly. If your lady is the type who wants physical touches, that’s fine. If she’s the one who wants alone time, give her space. You gotta read your woman!

Another good point, knowing your person and their love language.
It all circles back to communication and knowing your partner. We don’t want our men getting their heads chewed off! You should know your partner well enough by now. Hopefully.

So when is the best time, overall, to ask?
Text in the middle of the day and plant the seed, or ask during the makeout and foreplay leading to it. It’s almost a guarantee.

And when is the definite “NO” moment?
When you can tell she’s had a hard day with the kids, or if she had a hard day at work, or just in general. You can see she’s exhausted. That’s when you should take care of her and not have her take care of you.

Know your lady’s visual cues. If she’s watching trash TV with a glass of wine with her hair in a bun, she probably doesn’t want to be disturbed.
And if she’s watching Fifty Shades of Grey she might want to be disturbed a little.

Can you think of anything else for when’s the best time to wear lingerie?
Final advice, read the room. That’s how it goes. Every woman is different.

Do you have any advice for the women in this situation?
If you’re willing to explore lingerie in a newer relationship, I say do it. If you’re uncomfortable, tell them. Relationships are give and take. You can’t constantly have him pamper you, you gotta help a little bit. Do it for your partner every now and then, show how much you care for them. It’s not always the other way around

Just because he’s yours doesn’t mean you win!
Surprise your partner every so often! Shoot him a text saying you have a sexy surprise for him later. Take close up images of the lingerie you’re thinking of wearing. And be wearing it when he gets home! The best thing ever is answering the door for your guy in lingerie.

And make sure it’s them and not the pizza guy.
That’s how porn starts.
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